


Who I Am Hates Who I've Been

by orphan_account



Series: Relient [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Daredevil (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Avocado Bros, Avocados at Law, BAMF Natasha Romanov, Bird Bros - Freeform, Bucky Barnes Feels, Deaf Clint Barton, Depression, Everyone Needs A Hug, M/M, Might as well hit every topic, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Steve Rogers, Science Bros, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Self-Worth Issues, Shit guys, Thats not what I mean Bucky!, Tony Stark Is a Good Bro, We Should Be Ninety Bros, What Was I Thinking?, Where to start tagging..., angst everywhere, im so sorry, oops i did it again
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-04
Updated: 2015-10-03
Packaged: 2018-04-24 15:25:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4924885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky had let himself get caught. He wanted to see the blonde haired man again. Something about that person felt safe, like he had knew him before.<br/>Bucky wasn't sure if this was the right, but with Hydra silent, he had to act. Fast. Maybe that mysterious man was an old handler?<br/>But he didn't care at the moment. All he wanted was a friend, someone to lean on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who I Am Hates Who I've Been

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So hard not to add a 'Where's Rachel.' Too bad Batman isn't Marvel.

The Asset looked up at Stark Tower, recently renovated to fit all the Avengers comfortably. Each Avenger had there own personal floor, customized to fit their personal needs and comforts. But he wasn't here to talk design. He was here to find the man that haunted him, day and night..

He wasn't sure who he was, but he _knew_ him. The blonde man was the only thing that the Asset remembered. Well, that and multiple ways to kill someone. From the bridge, to when they had fallen into the Potomac, and the Asset had dragged him out, even after trying to kill him. This had to mean something, since the Asset never saved one of his missions. **He never failed.**

The sky was a soft orange near the horizon, the sun looking a vibrant red as it rose. He had a great view from the building he was on. The Asset hadn't even remembered getting up here. But that was to be expected, he didn't remember much at all nowadays. He needed to be wiped soon, all of this was getting confusing.

Sometimes memories flash before him, glimpses of a blue eyes, a sketchbook, and back alley fights. They were always gone in an instant, leaving him clutching his head, curled up in a ball. Memories brought pain. The Asset could handle pain, but this pain was different. It made him want to wallow, but he had to keep moving.

Always running.

He sighed, casting his eyes down to the entrance of the tower. Two people came out jogging. One was the blonde. The Asset had an urge to go down there right away, but he held himself back. There was the winged man by him.

_Threat Level: High_

He didn't have the wings on him, though. Too bad, he wanted to tear the other one off.

_New analysis:_  
_Threat Level: Moderate  
Continue to precede with caution._

"On your left," his enhanced hearing caught. The winged man seems to be a friend to the blonde one. Maybe the Asset will spare his life. _Maybe._

"That's unfair, Steve!" The winged man exclaimed, speeding up to keep up with "Steve." The Asset now knows his name, but he could always be operating under an alias. But Steve sounds familiar, and Bucky just wants to say it, roll the name off of his tongue. But the Asset doesn't speak. The Asset is silent, unless spoken to.

"Come on, Steve! It's unfair not funfair!" The man was lagging behind, breathless. Get him out of the way, and the Asset could meet up with this Steve.

"Sam, this _is_ fun... For me!" Steve laughed, now running backwards to see the winged man. The other man groaned, complaining that he still was exhausted from yesterday. The Asset would never complain like the winged man. Hydra punishes complainers.

_Acquired name:_

_Sam_

_Hydra database:_  
_Sam Wilson_  
_Alias: Falcon  
Test pilot for EXO-7_

That explains the wings. Nice touch though.

Hydra didn't know enough information for the Asset to make a conclusion on how to deal with the Falcon. He scanned their clothing, even from this height, he could tell that they hadn't come prepared. 

He crouched, moving along the roof to keep the two in his sight. Once he had no more room to go, he jumped down into an alley. He could still hear the two having a conversation. He moved behind a conveniently placed garbage bin.

Only one person past the alley. Steve had told Sam to go back and get food ready, said that since he complained, he had to make breakfast. This was the perfect opportunity for Asset to move in.

The Asset, still crouching, went to the mouth of the alleyway. He poked his head out, checking both sides. When he looked to the left, there was Steve, his back facing him. He had slowed to a walk. No one was around. Steve was only about a meter away from the alley.

Moving quickly, but silently, the Asset lunged forward. He covered Steve's mouth with his left hand, right arm wrapping around his chest. Steve had no time to react before he was dragged into the alleyway.

"Scream and I'll cut your throat," the Asset hissed into his ear. He felt the man nod to show that he understood. He removed his limbs, turning Steve so that he could face him. At the sight of Bucky, his eyes widened, mouth gaping.

"Bucky?" Steve's voice was hoarse. He stepped forward, raising an arm to touch the Asset's shoulder. Wrong thing to do. The Asset narrowed his eyes, whipping out a knife.

"Who the hell is Bucky?" He questioned, prepared to pounce on Steve if he made another move. _The Asset had broken a rule by talking, he was going to be punished._ Steve chuckled nervously. Stevs lifted his hands in surrender, looking around him wildly.

"Look, Bucky, I'm sure we can work thi-" Steve was thrown into a brick wall. He had his wrists pinned over his head, a knife hovered over his neck. The Asset worked quickly and efficiently.

"I. Am. Not. Bucky!" He punctuated each word by pressing the knife into his throat, right above the other man's bobbing Adam's apple. A thin strip of red appeared. 

Releasing Steve's wrists (he didn't move them from where they are) he painfully gripped the short blonde hair. He pulled Steve's head back, exposing more of his neck. The Asset was surprised at how soft the hair was. 

_Note:_  
_Ask later:  
_ _Where does he get his shampoo?_

_Importance: High_

The Asset yanked Steve's hair, still unreasonably angry. To his confusion, the other man moaned at this. His face flushed. The Asset repeated the gesture. Steve moaned once more, his blush deepened and spread downward.

They stood like that for a while, with Steve squirming under him. The Asset, still confused on what was happening, pulled the blonde's hair, just wanting to hear that amazing noise again. This time, the embarrassingly loud moan was accompanied with a jerk of Steve's hips.

_Note:  
Da fuck?_

_Importance: Extremely extreme._

But the Asset couldn't play with his newfound information now, he needed facts. He stepped back, releasing Steve from his grip. Steve whimpered at the lost, but quickly regained his composure.

___

"So, um, w-what should I call you?" He stammered out, not daring to meet the Assets eyes. He rubbed his neck nervously, his blush fading away. The Asset stared blankly, not sure if this was a test? 

"The Asset," he responded warily. Steve chocked back a sob, wanting so badly to rush forward and wrap his childhood friend in his arms. But this wasn't the Buck he grew up with, this was the Winter Soldier. Wanted by most of the world, he was credited with dozens of assassinations. 

Steve was about to respond when his phone started ringing in his pants. He went to grab it, moving slowly. He didn't want to alarm Bucky. That didn't seem like it would be fun.

He answered the phone, it was Sam, raising it to his ear. Sam went on and on about how hre was making eggs, and Redwing swooped down and stole it. Then he was making even _eggs_ , and Clint stole those.

"Don't worry, Sam. We'll get you an egg-stealer repellent." He assures his friend, with a shake of his head at the ridiculousness. He's still grinning even when Sam hangs up. He had almost forgotten that Bucky was there. Almost. That steely glare made Bucky's presence very apparent.

Steve still couldn't believe that after all of the months chasing Bucky down, that it was Bucky that had found him. He guessed it was a good thing that was taking a break, staying at Stark Tower to rest up, before continuing with the search.

"So," he cleared his throat, the cut Bucky had made was already gone, thanks to the serum. "What now?" He couldn't stop his glance from flickering down, seeing the metal arm that Bucky wielded as a weapon.

"You are my handler... Aren't you?" Bucky shuffled his feet, confusion evident on his face. Steve stared at him in shock.

"No! No, no I'm not, Buc- Asset," he visibly winced at the words. But if it makes Bucky happy, he'll say it a thousand times more. "I'm your friend." Still a confused look. "Steven Grant Rogers?," he prompts.

___

"Only a punk would have a name like that," the Asset says before he could stop himself. And Steve just looks at him like he hung the goddamn moon. 

"Yeah, and only a jerk would stay out here, _without breakfast._ So," he claps his hand together excitedly, " How about we go to Stark Tower?" And he looked too happy for the Asset to let him down.

So, the Asset hesitantly nods, at least if he goes with Steve, he'll get answers about what has happened with Hydra. He really wants a wipe. And he still isn't positive that Steve isn't his handler. 

But, hey, what harm could come from following someone you only know from memories into a building that's owned by the son of someone you murdered?

**Author's Note:**

> There's just so many ideas to write about, I can't focus on one thing! Oooh I should do a Freak the Mighty Au....
> 
> *Btw, Hydra database is triggered by names, places, keywords. You know what? Let me explain some interesting twists on the Winter Soldier.
> 
> Notes: Pop up every X hours to remind him of information, or something he wanted to remember. The amount of hours before it reminds can change based on how important it is.
> 
> Keywords: Certain phrases or words can change how he acts, from a mass murderer to a puppy demanding attention. They can make him calm down (Helpful when he is breing woken up from a cryogenic sleep. Normal sleep can apply too.
> 
> People: Certain names, deemed important by Hydra, can appear with information if he hears them. He doesn't need a last name if he uses surrounding information to conclude who it is, e.g. appearance, language they speak, what they're wearing (Like wings for Sam.), accents, how they walk, etc.
> 
> Threat Levels: Ties in with the people, though it isn't limited to it. Places, organizations, families (The Starks, Threat level: Extreme), etc, all have different Levels.
> 
> *Places have higher Threat Levels if they have higher crimes, guns per people, how many police officers there are, and more. Many factours cater in the determine how safe or not a place is. 
> 
> *Organizations Threat Levels depend on who they're loyal too (Loyal to Hydra? Your Threat Level is lower.).
> 
> * And finally, family Threat Levels are based on that families history, who's in it, who they're loyal too, etc. This isn't as important as the other two.
> 
> (All stop now, this is probably Threat Level: Extremely boring.)


End file.
